I was sitting in my kitchen with my husband (25 year veteran of marriage) and a couple of young men–one newly married & one who’s been going to talk to the father of the girl he’s been liking a lot about making “dating” official.
I ask the wannabe if he’s talked to her dad yet since he’s only up here for the weekend…he says the girl told him it’s ok if he waits.
I say, “Are you sure she’s ok? Because she told me that she was introducing you as a ‘friend who’d be something more if he ever got around to asking my dad’ and she might be feeling like you aren’t really interested in talking to him & she doesn’t want to push you.”
Veteran of 25 years starts laughing & asks the newbie if his wife ever plays that game with him.
Newbie says, “I’m not sure which game you’re talking about.”
Vet says, “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”
Newbie & Vet start laughing and Newbie says, “Yeah”.
Wannabe says, “What?”
I say, “Early in our marriage, I thought if he cared enough about me, he’d know what was going on because he’d be paying attention…so if he didn’t read past the words it meant he didn’t care. Then I found out that he really was clueless.”
Veteran says, “I still am”
I say, “It’s like living with the blind”….but we all are handicapped in various ways. And I don’t play that game anymore. Wannabe asked the dad that night & is now officially dating his sweetie (I have no idea what that means. The definition of “dating” is different each time I ask someone else.)
The problem goes both ways….I usually have to check to make sure I understand what he’s thinking, too.